SAFE HOUSE: A Throwaway Thriller Not Even Worth The Price Of A Matinee

SAFE HOUSE (Dir. Daniel Espinosa, 2012)

Although he’s been making movies since the early ‘90s, it still feels like Ryan Reynolds is the new kid on the block. Especially here as a frantic rookie who is paired with the stoical pro Denzel Washington in this incredibly forgetful formulaic film.

The formula can be traced back to TRAINING DAY, and was recently retreaded in UNSTOPPABLE: the cool-as-ice Washington schools a wet-behind-the-ears white pretty boy through unfolding chaos.

This time, Washington is a CIA agent gone rogue sporting teased out hair and a goatee who is apprehended and placed in a safe house in Africa under Reynolds’ supervision. Washington is water boarded by CIA operatives (including Robert Patrick), but he withstands the torture, not giving up the secret file they’re after. Yep, that’s the film’s MacGuffin – a data file from an MI6 officialcontaining names of all the rogue agents in the world, that, of course, everybody is after.

So here we go with another ‘guess who’s the mole’ scenario, and only if you turn your brain completely off will you not figure it out.



After Washington escapes, there’s a scene in which he shaves and cuts his hair then flashes his trademark grin for the first time in the film. It’s such a self conscious movie star moment that I couldn’t help laughing.



However, the rest of the film rarely amuses. It’s a grainy mess of poorly-shot and horribly edited fight scenes and chases with some of the shakiest shaky-cam action I’ve ever seen.



Not only are Reynolds and Washington wasted in all this numbing noise, so are Brendan Gleason (doing a coarse but convincing American accent), Vera Farmiga (in a control-room role much like her character’s in SOURCE CODE), and Sam Shepherd as a stern CIA director – a part he could play in his sleep.



A throwaway thriller that’s not even worth the price of a matinee (or a second run bargain price for that matter), SAFE HOUSE is aptly named because it’s a sad shelter in which a couple of fine actors play it safe and take no chances with their careers.

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An Extremely Skippable R-Rated Switcheroo

THE CHANGE-UP (Dir. David Dobkin, 2011)

Let me just start by putting this out there – I like both of these guys.



Jason Bateman is an effective everyman who has shined in a string of lame ass comedies (this summer's HORRIBLE BOSSES isn't bad actually), and Ryan Reynolds can be obnoxious sure, but there's a good actor underneath all that smarm (see last year's BURIED if you don't believe me).



But this gross-out switcheroo puts their likability to the test. The premise of body switching was tired back in the late '80s, and smothering it in profanity and loads of disgusting pee, poop, and porn jokes does nothing to freshen it up.



In the first couple of minutes of the film there's a baby feces scene that unfortunately sets the terrible tone. I won't go into any detail, I'll just say that so much of the movie consists of things that most people would pay not to see.



So we have Bateman as a settled down family man, Reynolds a hard partying womanizer living in Atlanta (the location really doesn't matter except in skyline shots and a few minor references - it could've been set anywhere) who drunkenly one night when peeing in a fountain say in unison "I wish I had your life!"



The next morning they wake up and are in each other's bodies and have to deal with it - and so do we.



Bateman's wife doesn't believe them, and they find that the fountain has been moved so they are stuck in this filthy FACE OFF predicament for a few weeks until they find out where the Zoltar Speaks machine, sorry the fountain, was moved.



The only slightly amusing factor is Bateman and Reynold's mimicry of each other's amped up antics, otherwise this is a profoundly unfunny experience that just makes you feel sorry for everybody involved including Olivia Wilde (COWBOYS AND ALIENS) and Alan Arkin who luckily is only in a couple brief scenes.



This hasn't been the greatest summer for comedies, but this is the lowest of the low. Even if you're looking for a air conditioned reprieve from the current extreme heat, I'd opt for sweating. The stench with that is so much more bearable.



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BURIED: The Film Babble Blog Review

BURIED (Dir. Rodrigo Cortés, 2010)

After cool retro Saul Bass-style opening titles a pitch black screen greets us. We hear heavy breathing and thudding. Finally Ryan Reynolds lights a zippo lighter and we're right there with him - trapped in a wooden coffin buried underground.

Reynolds panics, sweats profusely, claws at the wall, etc. A cell phone at his feet rings. He retrieves it with some difficulty to find that its an Arabic language model. Reynolds calls every number he can think of mostly getting answering machines before getting somebody on the phone from the Hostage Working Group in Iraq voiced by Robert Patterson.

That's right - Reynolds is a non-military working stiff truck driver buried alive in a war-torn Iraq in 2006.

Reynolds is told on the cellphone by a man (José Luis García Pérez) who denies being a terrorist that he has until 9:00 PM (just a few hours) to get his embassy to pay $5 million dollars for his release.

There are some abstract shots through the darkness surrounding our protagonist but the bulk of the entire film takes place inside the coffin.

We never see any other face but Reynolds but there are few recognizable voices on the other end of the phone besides Patterson including Samantha Mathis and Stephen Tobolowsky.

It would be tempting to joke that Reynolds couldn't act his way out of a sealed coffin because years ago I would've loved seeing Van Wilder get buried alive, but his performance is truly excellent here.

It's a convincing and emotional tour de force that kept me riveted from start to finish. It's also admirable that he chose this project as a welcome change of pace from rom coms like THE PROPOSAL and action tripe like WOLVERINE that has been dominating his career.

As chilling a scenario as could be imagined, BURIED is a grueling unpleasant experience in a lot of respects but its such a vital and gripping minimalist nightmare of a movie that it really shouldn't be ignored. It's the right time of the year for a fright and here director Cortés's Hitchcockian thrust really delivers.

"Buried" is now playing at the Colony Theater in North Raleigh. Consult the theater's website for show-times.

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