As Dracula, Adam Sandler Is Required To Suck

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 

(Dir. Genndy Tartakovsky, 2012)

Those who have been waiting for a new fix of animated Adam Sandler hi-jinks - it’s been ten years since EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS after all - will surely overdose on his hammy take on Dracula in HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA, the new 3D CGI spectacle from the studio that brought you THE SMURFS.

Sandler, who also executive produced, does the typical Bela Lugosi impression for the voice of the famous vampire, except that he denies ever saying “bleh-bleh-bleh,” plays the ukulele, and can bust out a rhyme, you know, if the occasion calls for MC Dracula.

As the owner and creator of the lavish Hotel Transylvania, a vacation place only for monsters, Sandler’s Dracula is preparing for the 118th birthday of his precocious daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez), when trouble arrives in the form of an airheaded backpacking teenager named Jonathan (SNL's Andy Samberg).

Dracula does what he can as an overprotective father to shield Mavis from the intruding human, but she feels what screenwriters Peter Baynham, Robert Smigel (a Sandler collaborator since their SNL days), along with director Genndy Tartakovsky who did a re-write, insist on calling a “zing” (love at first site) for the wacky kid. Not sure why, she’s a hundred years older than him and should know better than to fall for such a doofus, but, oh well.

The huge cast of supporting celebrity voices features Frankenstein's Monster (Kevin James) and his wife Eunice (a more annoying than usual Fran Drescher, but that description fits almost everybody here), Wayne and Wanda Werewolf (Steve Buscemi and Molly Shannon), and the party-monster Murray the Mummy (Cee Lo Green).

There’s also Griffin the Invisible Man, voiced by Sandler’s old fellow SNL buddy David Spade, who is a good example of how each of the classic creatures are just one joke characters, and the joke isn’t funny in the first place.

In fact none of HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA is funny, despite how energetic and over-the-top it is. It could have something to do with the sizable percentage of pee, poop, and fart jokes that take the place of wit. At least there’s only a few pop culture references, but the ones that are there (a Dave Matthews mention, a viewing of TWILIGHT on an iPad) are huge groaners.

The animation is fine but not especially inspired, and there’s no sense of stakes (I’m not making a vampire joke here) in the story-line, since we know Samberg’s Jonathan is no threat to anybody, and Sandler’s Dracula is really a good guy with a big heart who will see the light. Yawn.

By the way isn’t natural light supposed to kill vampires? The big over-caffeinated chase scene finale takes place in the pure sunlight of the morning, and Dracula only gets a little singed.

The ending has Samberg and Sandler show off their rap skills to a big obnoxious auto-tuned pop song, capping 90 minutes of crap aptly. My nephews (ages 8, 14, and 15), who I took to the screening, said they liked it, but I seriously doubt it will take up much space in their memory.

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CELESTE & JESSE: Our latest anti-rom com couple

CELESTE & JESSE FOEVER (Dir. Lee Toland Krieger, 2012)

Looks like another anti-rom com to me. Here we have Parks and Recreation’s Rashida Jones and SNL’s Andy Samberg as a Los Angeles couple who are getting a divorce, yet they are still inseparable. This greatly annoys their friends, Ari Graynor and Eric Christian Olsen, who are engaged, we learn at an opening restaurant dinner scene, in which Jones and Samberg do silly German accents, and giggle to each other.

We get the picture shortly afterwards that Jones is the responsible successful career woman, and Samberg is the underachieving artsy man-child, who would fit right in to a Judd Apatow movie. Samberg wants to reconcile, and that doesn’t seem so unlikely, as Jones is obviously hesitant to move on, but things get complicated when Samberg finds out that a woman he had a fling with (Rebecca Dayan) is pregnant.

Sounds like a rom com set-up, right? But hold on, the smart screenplay, co-written by Jones and Will McCormack (who also appears in the film as a pot dealer named Skillz), has better a more realistic sense to it. Adding to that is Lee Toland Krieger’s swift direction which gives it a slices-of-life feel.

The film is told from Jones’ point of view, and it’s an appealingly self-deprecating point of view. Her exchanges with a possible new suitor (Chris Messina - no stranger to anti-rom coms as he was just in RUBY SPARKS), refreshingly display that these are layered characters, not caricatures. So much so that when Messina asks Jones “You wanna be right, or you wanna be happy?” it doesn’t come off as a contrived line - it feels as natural and believable as just about everything else on screen.

Maybe there are some superfluous elements, such as Elijah Wood as a co-worker of Jones who seems to know he’s only there to be a saucy gay friend (especially since he says “Sorry, I was trying to be your saucy gay friend”), and Emma Roberts as a snotty pop star client Jones has to deal with, but they don’t get in the way of the emotional pull at all.

With the right balance of laughs and touching moments, CELESTE & JESSE FOREVER is an effective movie mediation on how difficult it can be to move on.

It’s also time well spent with a couple of up and coming talents. It’s nice to see that Samberg can dial back the excessive wackiness (don’t get me wrong – I love him on SNL and HOT ROD is actually a very funny film), and show off some dramatic chops, and Jones gets a choice chance to carry a movie in her first leading role (her smart parts in THE SOCIAL NETWORK and THE MUPPETS barely hinted at her range).

I believe that BRIDESMAIDS started a trend in re-thinking the tired rom com formulas, (though that was a pretty outlandish and fairly non-realistic take on the genre) and films like this are going to be more and more welcome. Like last spring’s FRIENDS WITH KIDS, this is a enjoyable addition to the anti-rom com community.

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